Stranger than Fiction
by raq-UMALI
Summary: Its weird.. Its strange.. got a quantum leap touch to it...... so read it already if you want to know.
1. Default Chapter

Stranger then Fiction... episode 1 -   
  
  
'What the heck?...........' I pulled the what ever it is down from my head and looked around 'Where am I' I asked out loud.' One minute I was eating my moms famous lemon pie then... the next I'm in a forest. 'What's going on?' I look down and was a little stunned. The cute khaki Capri pants and black baby tee that had an embroidery of a rose that reminded me of Mamo-chan and.... by the way Mina bought me for my birthday... anyhow I swore I put that on earlier. Replacing the totally cute ensemble was a white short sleeve shirt with small scalloped collar. Did I even have a short sleeve shirt with a scallop collar? Anyhow over that, was a red and white print overall dress, print...looking like a picnic blanket! Tied to my neck, falling to my knees was a red cape... I touched the back of my neck and there a hood. 'Lost... Yes Usagi you are lost... physically and mentally!' I grumbled as I looked at my surroundings.   
  
From the corner of my eyes I saw a shiny glittery object near a tree... I took a step forward to only fall to the ground 'Great time to klutz out Usagi!' I breathed sparingly rubbing my rump. I lifted my leg in which what ever it was I can blame my fall on, their lay a basket! 'A Basket?' I scratched my head at first. Curious... I opened the basket and there I found some biscuits, a warm bowl of what seemed liked oatmeal... some cookies! 'COOKIES' I giggled in delight as I took one and inhaled it, not saving one crumb. Digging deeper in the basket I found other items, medicine, butter and jam. In between the jam was a note tucked away. While on my third cookie I opened the note 'on the grandmas house you go...and don't forget to give her, her medicine' medicine... I looked in the basket and found medicine.. 'Oh poor grandma...' I sighed then remembered... wait a minute.. Grandmas in America.. what in selene's name is going on?. I stood having heard something around the bushes. 'Well theirs no used to staying here..he..he' I distracted myself trying to make what ever I'm doing adventurous. I walked to over to the shiny object and found it to be a small mirror. A hand mirror almost like Sailor Neptune's. Giving it a quick look over I decided to take it with me, stuffing it in my basket. 'Usagi if you want answers than I guess you shall have to go to grandmas house' I started to step forward when I realized.. where's grandmas house?  
  
'Where's your sense of adventure' my dear boyfriend has always said... Adventure...I muttered as I weave my way from thick bushes... I'm thick deep in adventure.. fighting youmas, evil queens, obsessed prince who cant take no for an answer and living with the spore.... Isn't that adventurous enough!   
  
Deeper and deeper in the woods I go and each turn or when I feel I'm headed the right direction. I'm lost again! 'gripe sakes Usagi where the heck have you gotten lost too' Nothing no civilization what so ever, then out of no where I hear voices... voices that I knew were familiar... 'REI...' I yelled running towards the voices.. but when I got to a clearing their was no one. Perhaps I'm just too eager.. I walked on.. before I even realized that I was in a pathway. A pathway that forked out, one to the left side and the other to the right, I ran quickly and looked around... trees, bushes and more trees... but theirs a sign.. 'A SIGN' I yelled. Anxiously I looked at the sign.... 'TO grandmas house' ... I clapped almost too happy at the indication that grandmas house was to the right... and with basket in hand... hood over my head.... to the right I went 'TO GRANDMAS HOUSE' I said confidently and raised my arm as to conquer.   
  
After 15 minutes of walking and acting happy that I was to see 'grandma' or who ever it was... I was tiring.. of all the things to carry... the basket had no water. My mouth watered at the thought and urged on. Then finally.......... Finally.... The trees cleared and there in the middle of lightly trimmed fruit trees was a cottage. 'Grandmas' I ran.  
  
Breathing deeply and panting from the run, I stopped abruptly at the door, composing myself and smoothing my hair to a neat and conservative way. I knocked on the door softly and after a few moments of silence.. I was frustrated.. of all the things, I come here to give who ever this grandmother some medicine and she's not home. With determination in my veins I knocked firmly. 'come in' said a raspy voice, the voice that alerted my sense but then again.. this was grandma, in I went. Closing the door, I took note of the quaint style cottage. It was almost like a studio, a combination of kitchen, bedroom, living space and such. It was cozy for a grandmother. 'Child is that you?' came that same raspy voice that gave me the shivers. 'um... yes.. grand...' I thought with a blink of an eye before shrugging my shoulders 'grandmother'. 'well what a surprise... why don't you come closer' A bit hesitant I took off my cape and walked on. Stepping a few I found a full length mirror to my left. I took a good look at myself... my long blond hair were still in tack with the odango style I've worn all my life.. odango...I sighed in remembrance.. 'reminds me of my Mamo-chan'.... Anyways... but the rest of my hair was in braids, rope like they fell freely to my calves. Boy did I look like I was in some fairy tale story of.. of... what's that story called again...  
  
'what's wrong child?' asked my supposedly grandmother taking me away from my thoughts. 'Um nothing grandmother' I approached her. She instructed me to sit next to her, that's when I had noticed the really hairy feet sticking out of the blanket. Geez grandma needs to shave. 'what did you bring their child' again taking me out of my thoughts 'oh um.. mother' again I blinked.. okay.... 'or who ever... asked me to bring this. to you'. 'oh how thoughtful' my grandmother coughed... since when was this person my grandmother.. I shook my head and stood a bit to help who ever this is.   
  
I padded the covers down and that's when I saw... 'grandmother what big BLUE eyes you have' I said surprisingly and trying to remember where I've seen those eyes before.. now that I think about it... my mamo has the same.. 'the better to see you with'.. I lifted her night cap and I swear those hairy big ears don't belong there... 'grandmother what big ears you have?' I straightened waiting for a response that somehow I knew... 'better to hear you with....' I swear where have I heard this before... what the intarnation was going on.. I pulled the covers down... and gasped... 'grandmother what big teeth you have' and not only that but hairy, a muzzle, a long tongue not to mention bad breath. I looked up and found grandma to be staring... and If I didn't know better I would of thought those teeth were meant to sink into me. I was suddenly backing away from this impersonator of a grandmother.. I watched as she sat up and looked my way. 'Better to eat you with dear...' NOW I know I've heard that somewhere.... Where... dam it... My hairy grandmother stared straight into my eyes.... And I swear I've seen those eyes.. I was in a way lost... the way it danced as it looked at me.. they way it gleamed.. I've seen them!  
  
I watched as my pretend grandmother leaped out of the bed. I jumped out of its way and struggled to be on the other side... I stood and was trying to figure a way out... think.. think.. Usagi... come on... I dodged another paw and now found myself near the sink... finding as much as I could I threw pots and plates. The plate hitting the wolf with my grandmothers sleep wear flat on the face. Then armed myself with a large iron skillet. 'ah... ha...' Both hands on the handle I held it at the side. I watched as the fake grandmother round me... I've saved the world many times over again.. and here I am to die in.. in... what the hell is this story.... The hairy creature stepped towards me.. and I held the pan higher. 'DON'T' I said... the wolf seemed to have understood.. and looked at me with hurt and defenseless eyes. I've seen those before dam it... where? 'USAKO' my eyes went wide.. was it me or did my fraudulent grandmother just say Usako? I came out of my stupor to find the animal to stand on its two hind legs. 'WHAT THE..' I said still holding the pan up high. 'Usako... put the pan down its me..' my head felt dizzy.. did that wolf that had sounded raspy in the beginning was now sounding like my Mamo-chan? 'ME.. me who?' I asked... dumbly as I thought... Usagi your talking to a wolf 'me.. Mamo-chan..' I don't know how it happened.. but I think I rather over did it on the dumplings and sukiyaki not to mention all that lemon pie. Now here I was running away from a wolf chasing me around a house saying he's my boyfriend. 'Oh yeah.. and like...Mamo-chan is hairy like you' I said and rolled my eyes... I straightened and put both hands on each side of my waist... pan on one hand.. 'what the hell am I doing' bringing my left hand and placing the heel of it on my forehead... "No... no fever...' I said out loud. 'then what could it be' I took my finger and placed it on my neck to find a pulse... "yep.. still breathing... still live..' I guess I didn't really think putting that pan away and forgetting about that wolf in front of me had that big of a consequence. I looked up and found Mamo-chan... I mean..er...the wolf.. to be on its fours again. Leaping forward I found no utter means of escape... and there I was on the floor pinned by a smelly raggy dog that needed to be placed in some type of grooming facility that can brush, tame and clean the wild beast, not to mention give him a breath mint or two.  
  
'Your mine.....' I wondered.. mine as in my food.. or mine.. as in my Mamo-chan mine... oh what the hell 'Mamo-chan... what are you doing?' I asked it, like it was going to answer me. 'I'm going to eat you Usako' Well what do you know.. it answered. What the heck is this... I don't remember this in the story.. Story now I remember.. it was one of those stories that I read... in one of those.. American fairy tales.. what is it? Little hood? Riding the hood? Oh I wished I paid more attention. The wolf started to sniff my hair.. and seriously I started to get disgusted of all the musty wet dog smell. 'Mamo.. I mean who ever the heck you are.. please stop.... Your making me sick' I grumbled still trying to figure out what story this was. Little Red Hood...Grandmothers hood? 'Its time to die Usako..' it said to me... Oh whoopee like Its never been said to me before.. but then again I've always had my savior. What was that again... Little Grandmothers Red Hood.. no...Little Red Riding Hood... no.. yes.. no... well ... maybe... um.. YEAHHHHHHHH..... Just when the Mamo.. or who ever this smelly thing is on me was nuzzling my neck.. assuming to find the perfect place to bite.. I shivered thinking of it.   
  
The story... how did that story go again... big eye...big ears... big teeth.. the chase.. the woodsman.. THE WOODSMAN! Where is the woodsman? Just then... the door came down and there stood, I held my breath to catch site and almost cried. Their standing at the door way...was not a woodsman nor anything resembling a woodsman.. their stood a blond girl.. wearing a light blue cape covering her from head to toe. When the cape went down.. 'Mina..' I yelled. The wolf turned to Mina and Mina just smiled. 'Hi.. I came to help'. 'Good.. now please... woods woman.. some help here' the wolf turned its attention on me and snorted. 'Woods woman?' stopped Mina... and thought... 'I'm not a woods woman.. I'm your fairy godmother...'. I rolled my eyes boy was she in the wrong story 'WHAT? What do you mean my fairy godmother...?' I yelled in frustration. 'I'm suppose to help you with the ball not with the wolf.. I'm suppose to say bippy dee boppie dee goo...'she happily sighed... 'that's BOO Mina.. BOO' she laughed at my correction. 'oh.. BOO then... see ya' and with that she left.  
  
"now what was that your saying?' asked the wolf... 'Mamo-chan you don't want to eat me... I'm all.. um.. all bones..' heheh.. wrong thing to say to a canine. 'I mean.. I don't taste good'. The wolf nuzzled my neck again and at first It was quite tickly.. then he lifted his head.. 'yummy Usako...' he opened his mouth and from that I decided to just take its course... 'STUPID...........LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD' and just when I felt the canine's piercing on my neck something... from somewhere flared brightly and all of a sudden I'm taking to a whirlpool of blurry remembrances... no more wolf thing on me nor wolf breath on my shoulder... I blacked out.  
  
I roused and my head became somewhat clear and I had the feeling that I was high above ground.... Curiously and cautiously I opened one eye... what my one eye saw didn't register so I went ahead and opened the other. Oh Lordy.... I looked up and fully saw him.. His back turned... I didn't even bother to look up to his head.. wearing nothing but a small tiny scrap of cloth around his.. um.. waist... yeah that's what we call it...uh... I can feel my cheeks redden.. being able to see the tight gluts on this man... I turned... looked down and suddenly realized... I was high above the ground.. in a hammock like bed. I screamed as the hammock tilted and free fall I went. Screaming louder I was headed down... head first towards the ground, I said my prayers. I closed my eyes hoping this dream would end... and when I was waiting for my life to end... I felt an arm encircle my waist.. and instead of falling down I was gliding sideways. What was going on? I opened one eye and completely bewildered... I was still upside down...but I was facing a pair of legs. I wanted to scratch my head but right now I didn't even know where my own hands were. I looked up and found the ground in which I should have been splattered on was speeding over my head.. I decided to look down and at first I wondered.... 'WHAT THE....' I felt the arm tighten around my waist and I flushed in every bit of red their could possibly be... crimson red, bloodshot red... candy apple red.. it was me.... At first unbelieving....so I decided to have another look down.. 'LORDY LORD.............' I suddenly realized... Who ever this was... he was carrying me upside down and I can see his.... His... 'OH MY LORD...' I fainted.  
  
End for now.   
  
Stranger than Fiction Series - Little Red Riding Hood . by Raq  
  
Strange.. I know.. Just thought I would give it a try. But don't think this will be a constant thing.. I only wrote it cause I was in a silly mood and I didn't feel like editing my stories. K.. hope you liked it.. My husband said there are special places... for people like me... where they give me nice warm white jackets with straps.... anyone want to join me?  
  
11.18.01 


	2. Episode 2a

Stranger than Fiction - Episode 2a  
By: raq   
Rated PG13  
  
  
I roused and my head became somewhat clear and I had the feeling that I was high above ground.... Curiously and cautiously I opened one eye... what my one eye saw didn't register so I went ahead and opened the other. Oh Lordy.... I looked up and fully saw him.. His back turned... I didn't even bother to look up to his head.. wearing nothing but a small tiny scrap of cloth around his.. um.. waist... yeah that's what we call it...uh... I can feel my cheeks redden.. being able to see the tight gluts on this man... I turned... looked down and suddenly realized... I was high above the ground.. in a hammock like bed. I screamed as the hammock tilted and free fall I went. Screaming louder I was headed down... head first towards the ground, I said my prayers. I closed my eyes hoping this dream would end... and when I was waiting for my life to end... I felt an arm encircle my waist.. and instead of falling down I was gliding sideways. What was going on? I opened one eye and completely bewildered... I was still upside down...but I was facing a pair of legs. I wanted to scratch my head but right now I didn't even know where my own hands were. I looked up and found the ground in which I should have been splattered on was speeding over my head.. I decided to look down and at first I wondered.... 'WHAT THE....' I felt the arm tighten around my waist and I flushed in every bit of red their could possibly be... crimson red, bloodshot red... candy apple red.. it was me.... At first unbelieving....so I decided to have another look down.. 'LORDY LORD.............' I suddenly realized... Who ever this was... he was carrying me upside down and I can see his.... His... 'OH MY LORD...' I fainted.  
  
~~  
  
Why is it so hot.. I thought wearily as I opened my eyes, as soon as I did, it decided to shut itself back up. 'Oh the light' I sat up, trying to remember what happened. Blocking the suns rays, I opened my eyes again. Blurry at first then clear.... I looked at my surroundings, as I was in the forest.... I am completely and overwhelmingly baffled.   
  
The memory of myself wearing a cape with a hood skipping to grandmas house was clear... then pinned down by the animal that called himself Mamo-chan. I felt my eyes widen....'NOWWWWWWWWW Where am I?' I whined as I heard the squawking of birds and animals outside fleeing.. un-doubtingly from my whining. Years experience.. I have learned that my whining can even make a grown man cower, for instance.. my dad... and not to mention... I held on to the thought as the door opened and my attention drifted to the being that entered... 'Mamo-channnnnnnnn...' my mouth dropped.   
  
After rolling my tongue back in and closing my mouth.. I was speechless. Standing up next to the door...he paid attention to tying up some wooden items... Un faltered by my quiet company.... Their was my Mamo... er.... or someone that looked like my Mamo-chan.. in a... a... loin cloth! Again my mouth decided to drop and I could off sworn I felt something dribble down the side of my mouth.   
  
Wearing nothing but that flimsy almost see through.. loin cloth! I screamed in my mind... Mamo-chan wouldn't let me see him in Speedos! And now... right in front of me.. was...was...ma..ma............. Now who would in their right mind turn away at the wonderful sculptured... god before them. I didn't think so... so.... I just stared.  
  
For the moment... my eyes just lingered... from the fine rippling pectorals he held on his chest.. to the branded six pack he sported on his abdominal... my eyes started to drift downwards remembering the awkward position I was in earlier. The nerve of my face! I felt the deepening hue wash over. Thinking of how.. um... what's the word... fortunate... prosperous... bestowed... or perhaps blessed by the gods he was. The thought of that made my already tainted mind.. drift even lower.... Cute.. belly button I bit a grin... and I would of gone lower too if a few snakes hadn't landed on head... snakes.. 'hi snakes..' I glanced at the snake than back to Mamo.................. 'SNAKE AHHHHHHHHHHHH' I screamed.. Getting up from my original position on the make shift cot. Jumping up and down 'get it off....... Get it off Ahhhhh'. I screamed louder, a pair of arms held on to my shoulders as it was taken from my hair. Forgetting where and who, I hugged the naked body before me and cried. 'I hate snakes... I hate snakes' I felt arms wrap around my back and somehow it felt so right...... Me in the arms of my Mamo-chan... my face against his naked chest.. and his hand caressing me on my bare back.. comforting me... and... wait a minute... Bare back? It took a moment or two to register and when it did... slowly and carefully I opened one eye.. and strained to look down. My heart almost stopped...what the?..... I untangled myself from the warmth and fully took note of what I was wearing.  
  
How did I get to wearing a conservative little red riding hood outfit to this.... I gaped, as I felt a bit chilly. I looked up to my companion.. or er... who ever this impersonator was again.. then back to the thin layers of fabric around me. Wrapped around my breast area.. was a thin material... completely identical to the loin cloth Mamo-chan was wearing... or er.. who ever! Under my belly button.... WAY under my belly button... like where my bikini panties should have been showing.... wrapping around me like a sarong.. it tied to the left. But boy was it low... I felt a draft and my eyes went wide..... I fidgeted in place................ 'OH DEAR GOD' I'm not wearing anything under this thing!   
  
Stepping away several steps...... my heart raced to a million speed... and I was unaware of what to do... thinking and racking my brain.. what the heck did Brooke Shields do in the Blue Lagoon? I thought. 'Usako...' the man speaks.. I quickly turned my head towards him. He had the most somber expression on his face... lost.. like a little boy. Was this Mamo this time or another one that would morph into some hairy ugly creature. I took a step closer to him to look into his eyes. A stray of unwanted nuisance fell upon his eyes.. and as usual..... as I did with my Mamo-chan.. I wisped it away clear from his view. I loved my Mamo-chan's eyes.. it was what told me his undying love.. his eternal promise.. his... 'Mamo-chan?' I asked realizing that this twin was reflecting the same love.. the same promise... as 'my' Mamo-chan. 'U..sako.. Jayne '. Could it be? I watched him turn and walked off a few, nearing the table like area. Wait... who's Jayne? Disturbed from the movements, determining if this was 'my' Mamo... and if it was.. perhaps he could answer to what in Selene's name is going on.   
  
He turned and my heart skipped and did the 100 meter hurdles over and over again. Lifting his hand, I bit my lip as the 100 meter became a roller coaster ride of happiness. In his hand was a bouquet of... of... what the heck is that???... is that .. a ...a... Venus fly trap??? It is! Offering it to me... I hesitantly took it.... Without one word... I just smiled thanking him... and wondering.... What was I suppose to do with a fly trap..  
  
He approached me again.. this time closer.. and I didn't move, I just watched him waiting for him to say more. 'Jayne..' I looked at him a little whacked out.. I nodded my head in disagreement.. 'No... Usako' I said...he looked at me wondering and he nodded his head 'Jayne....' No.. no.. no... 'Uuuhhh...sa...ko....' I said again. He backed up.. and I swear I saw that frown darken his so handsome features... Looking straight into my eyes.. I couldn't help it... he was sooo handsome... and that pout... I stared at him with defeated eyes...man does that man know how to pout. I nodded. Well this was so much better than calling a wolf that dressed as my supposedly grandmother be Mamo-chan anyways.... I took a few steps towards him... 'Jayne..' his eyes lifted and his pout gone... he lifted me up, along the way I dropped the bouquet of fly traps.. not that I wanted it anyways.   
  
I laughed.. and he chuckled... and when he put me down.. he pointed at himself.. speaking with a husky tone 'Me.. Tarzan...' I blinked once.. twice.. then it registered.... 'IS THAT WHERE I AM!' It didn't occur to me till now that I was freaking Jayne... companion to the legendary jungle boy Tarzan. Slowly I walked over to the hammock cot that I had been lying on earlier and sat. I looked around... many jungle relics were about.. seemingly hand made... bowls... wooden spoons... things that he had lived on... but what I'm looking for is the TV...my manga's... refrigerator.. and pantry full of food.   
  
My eyes drifted to the man... and with one look at him I swear, not that ill be happy about it.. but Ill give up all those things just to see Mamo-chan.. er... Mamo-Zan in his loin cloth everyday. I could get used to this.... I blushed and bit my lip to suppress a laugh. Apparently he saw it and smiled as well. Goodness.. I bet he makes jungle living the land of the gods. He neared me and kneeled.. 'Jayne..' he rubbed my stomach.. and just as he indicated my stomach growled. I flushed... yes I'm hungry.... But food wasn't really what I was thinking of... kneeling down beside me, I was able to have close encounter for the second time.. with his body... smooth... oiled... smelling like the tropics.. or those darkening sun tan oils Rei uses to tan, I think coco butter.   
  
Unable to resist.. I laid a hand on his shoulder... running along his smoothed skin, my heart leaped. Is it getting hot in here or what? I asked myself... when I heard him exhale deeply.. I looked into his blue depths.. and decided it would be best to stop.. his eyes were smoldering with inner desire... and I wouldn't know if this was a bad thing or not... I mean... ME.. NO UNDIE....and... HE...I looked down.. at his cloth....... NONE either.. ITS REALLY GETTING HOT IN HERE.....  
  
I saw his jaw tighten and his eyes travel to my bust line.. I can feel them perk at his stare.. and boy were the evident. I mean of course they were...I was wearing nothing but like a gauze strip around my bust.. and I myself have grown out and are now filling in my C size cups... I bit my lip... it was time to.. 'Mam.. uh.....Tarzan.....Jayne...' hungry I rubbed my stomach. It seemed that it took more out of him to remove his eyes from my bust... and really I wondered what he was thinking. Returning to mine... he nodded and stood.. what was evident to my bust was ah.. evident.. in his.. groin ... uh... ummm... how does the Americans say it... Pitching A Tent.. yeah that's it! I blushed at the thought of how REALLY lucky he was to have.. such...such.... Ah.. I wont go into that... I turned away thinking it was best.. but he really didn't mind.. Taking both hands he turned me to him... smiled.... looked down at himself and smiled again.... then took my hand and off we went. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?  
  
We exited the so called door.. and my head went spinning... WE were on top of a tall tree... I don't see no stairs nor... a ladder... how the heck were we suppose to get down... my question was answered... when my hunk of a Mamo-Zan handed me a rope. I stared at it then... looked at him. He smiled.. then off he went... My mouth open.. as he went to leap off another tree... a gush of air lifted his cloth and boy did he have a wonderful shape of an ass. Then I realized.. If I go... MY own clothing.. or if you can call this clothing is going to fly....OH BOY! I sighed.. I can do this... I looked over to where he was and he was waiting with a larger smile.. 'Jayne' he called. 'Ill be there...' I returned.. as I looked down... swallowed the lump in my throat and what the hell.... Jumped of the ramp. 'ahhhhh...' I yelled...   
  
I opened my eyes and found my Mamo-zan to be waiting... his eyes I know.. was obviously glued to my heinie. I saw myself getting closer to him and just when we were face to face, I was immobile.... I thought his eyes were smoldering earlier their raging with fire now... when I was close enough to leap off... I couldn't get myself to let go, I was so trance by his eyes.. that in a sense it thrilled me.... so back I went... 'ahhhhhhhh' Hearing the scream I guess brought him out of his own trance as he yelled 'JAYNE' I started to panic.. and back and forth I went like a pendulum.. back and forth back and forth. I was getting nauseous..  
  
When I felt my grip loosening I tried to grip tighter but.. My hands were sweating... I looked down.. and my heart already jumped. 'Tar......zan..' was the last I screamed when..... I went falling.. What is with me and falling.. Again when I thought I was a goner.. I felt warm soft arms holding me tight. Though still reeling from the free fall... I smiled knowing very well who it was. My savoir.. just like tuxedo mask.. this was my Tarzan.. my Mamo-zan... I looked down on the ground and found him... 'Oh Hi Tarzan..' I greeted.......... WHAT?????? If your there... then......who?? What?? around my waist... was something soft.... Black... and hairy......I looked up and I was scared out of my wits... 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' I yelled again.. Am I gonna have a sore throat when I get home. Closer and closer we came to the ground and when we were.... I ran straight into Tarzans open arms.. He held me tight and just like my savior.. his warmth...soothed me... calmed.. me... and aroused me as well... when I realized where my filthy mind was going I looked up and finally I realized he was conversing... conversing? With who?? I turned and found the animal.. the one that had saved me. Large... black.. and hairy...  
  
'Uuuuu.. uhhh... uggg...' Tarzan said... and as much as I wanted to laugh at them.. I couldn't... I was so shaken from the fall.... 'Ug...ug...' said the large animal...I wonder if my Mamo-chan took special languages in college. Shrugging it off.. I listened... and when there came to an understanding... the large animal approached us. A bit frightened I leaned on Mamo-zan. Mamo-zan nudged me a bit 'Jayne... my cousin Turk...' your what?  
  
  
Stranger than Fiction - Episode 2a - Tarzan er... Mamo-Zan  
  
Okay there you go.. hope you had a nice laugh as I did writing it. I had been watching Tarzan four hours straight with my daugthers one evening.  
  
Luvies  
  
raq 


	3. Episode 2b

Stranger than Fiction ~ Episode 2b  
By. RAQ - raqstories@cox.net  
  
  
  
'Your cousin?' I asked with wide eyes... Turk came closer and I couldn't help but recoil in Mamo-zan's arms but it seemed that I had offended him. The animal's eyes from the looks of it was more afraid of me. I looked up to Mamo-zans features, he was asking me to open up. From his eyes I looked towards the large Gorilla.. and swallowed hard. I took one step forward and swallowed another lump. 'he..hello...' the animal looked with a slight tilt in his head. Then his gaze went right through me and I turned to find Mamo-zan grinning. 'he cant... understand you' I turned not knowing what to do. Well if this is a cousin.. than I shall make acquaintance... 'uhhh oooggg.. uhhhh.. uo...uo...uo...' The gorilla's eyes went wide... then made some loud noises. At first I thought he was angry and I was getting ready to run... then as I heard Mamo-zan behind me chuckle.. I think he was laughing. 'Is he laughing at me?' I asked and watched my Mamo nod 'What did I say?' 'You said.. your constipated and needed to relive yourself' My eyes widened.. how's that for the first impression!  
  
After that completely embarrassing first impression I now found myself sitting near the river.. having a wonderful vegetarian meal. Fruits of all sorts and strange and odd things I have never seen. Now I know I said I would give up just about everything.. but you know I'm still a growing girl.. I need my protein! Where's my burgers, sukiyaki, teriyaki chicken, my mouth watered at the thought. I now longed for the thought of being home in my moms kitchen having at lease a... my mouth dried 'hot. dog' I heard myself say as I was kicked out of food land fantasy. Swimming from inside the river, Mamo-zan was dripping wet. Walking slowly towards the shore, his chest glistened in silvery droplets. Mamo-zan was 'Completely and utterly Sexy' 'Holy Mother of.....' I decided to keep the thought personally.  
  
I swear I can feel myself fluster at the sight of him and it didn't help that he was making his way to me. God this man was down right gorgeous, now wonder many women want him.. but HA! He's all mine.. I smile at the thought. Steadily my mind focused as he started to make his way towards me again. His hair matted against his face and in a fluid motion, taking both hands and combing it back, away from his more than gorgeous features. His torso, finely chiseled to mere perfection and defined pectorals, were causing my stomach to burn in pleasure. My eyes drifted lower to his six-pack and I craved for more. Mamo-zans hips became apparent, above the water and I knew that the moment that I had seen this gauze strip that we both were wearing that it was transparent..... even more so when wet. My eyes drifted lower, from his abdomen to his... 'Oh My God' I swallowed painfully! Slowly the water from his waist became water to his knees as he neared me. Closer and closer and I just stared... I didn't want a hot dog anymore I wanted a large beefy sausage.  
  
"Usa..Jane" he spoke as he stood in front of me, he handed me a bowl, and even as he spoke. I didn't care, I took what ever it was in the bowl and slowly placed them in my mouth, all the while I kept my eyes on his.. "Jane.." was all I could understand but missed the other part. I couldn't speak, I couldn't even look up at his face. I just kept eating what ever it was he had handed me and stared. He stood in front of me for petes sakes.. and quite frankly I like the view.  
  
  
  
~ End for now 


	4. Episode 3

Stranger Than Fiction ~ Episode 3  
BY: RAQ raqstories@cox.net   
5.16.02  
  
  
Previously ~  
  
"Usa..Jane" he spoke as he stood in front of me, he handed me a bowl, and even as he spoke. I didn't care, I took what ever it was in the bowl and slowly placed them in my mouth, it was squishy but I didn't care, I just kept my eyes and mine on his.. "Jane.." was all I could understand but missed the other part. I couldn't speak! I couldn't even look up at his face. I just kept eating soft what ever it was he had handed me and stared. He stood in front of me for Pete's sakes.. and quite frankly I like the view.  
  
Back to the story ~  
  
"Jane..." I stared, awed by the bulging view. My heart leapt with each passing second and the warmth in my stomach was traveling to my face. "Jane.." I heard faintly him say. The sounds of animal cackle can be heard, and in a way they sounded like laughter but I was so busy wondering how I can.... My mind trailed as I licked my lips "USAKO!" I jumped up in surprised as his voice being louder and harsh finally had my attention. I looked up, his face reddening, all around, cackles can be heard then gibberish, jibber I could not understand. I looked all around, each gorilla was staring at me intently, a few had comically features, some even seemed like they were trying hard not to laugh and I was just curious what they were all gibbering about.  
  
"Mamo-zan?" I looked up "what are they saying?" Mamo-zan gave his family a disapproving look then returned to answer my question.  
  
"Well they said, that I should take you out of here and give them hairless grandchildren!" I smiled and popped another marshmallow squishy thing in my mouth.   
  
"Yes why don't we" The warmth was really getting to me, I realized that with my answer. I popped another in my mouth and smiled flirtatiously. I watched one of his perfect brow raise. The herd what ever you call the pack of gorillas grunted, Mamo-zan responded and smiled at me in return. I popped another one in my mouth and another grunting noise came and to me, it was obvious that they were laughing.  
  
"What are they laughing at now?"   
  
"They said.." I watch him hesitate and look down at my lap "They said you must like those grub (grub definition: thick worm like larva of certain beetles and other insects) a lot, you've nearly finished the whole bowl!" Grub?, I looked at him wondering what he was talking about when he motioned towards my lap. I glanced down, wondering what he was looking at.  
  
My stomach churned then grumbled, I watched a few large plump worms wiggly around in the bowl. The burning increased in my stomach and I can feel it rise "Oh My god!" I yelled... and jumped up running for refuge away from those dark piercing gorilla eyes. "Usako" was all I heard from my Mamo-zan as I sprinted my way towards the bushes, the volcano erupting from my stomach and out it all went.  
  
Out it all went and I still didn't feel good. Just the thought of me eating those...those... I felt my stomach protesting at the thought, my stomach churned. I stopped walking and held one hand against the tree for support. I felt green and sick. I could not believe what I had just eaten. 'DAM Mamo-Zan for distracting me, for looking so sexy for...' I looked around trying to place myself. Where the heck was I? "Mamo-Zan?" I called. The sun was starting to come down and I was starting to feel real antsy on all the foreign animal callings. "MAMO-Zan?" I called again, where is that man. I herd some movement in the trees and I was utterly relived. I walked my way towards there, embarrassed. "Oh Mamo-zan, I'm sorry I must of...looked..." I rambled then stopped as I looked up. 6'2, fully black fur, and not at all my Mamo-zan. The Gorilla in whom I have not met, snorted at me, his eyes blazing. His lips parted and his sharp teeth was clear. Slowly I backed away, I don't think he liked that for he grunted. I wasn't going to wait another minute.. I bolted... "MAMO-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" I screamed... "MAMO-CHAN"...... I ran, after throwing up I did not have the strength.   
  
"JANE... USAKO..." I looked up, swinging in the trees, was my savior. Swinging on the vines above, he looked so delectable in that little piece of clothing he had on. Although I wouldn't necessarily call it clothing, his tushy hanging out and..... I heard the animal grunt, he was getting closer. Oh fine time to think about his tushie!  
  
I looked up again, he was still swinging. "Mamo-zan get down here now!!!!!!!!!" I yelled and kept my pace. "Ohhhh" my eyes grew large. I watch Mamo-chan's gauze clothing flutter and the view of his..... Isn't that....... yummy!   
  
"JANEEE" Mamo-zan yelled and motioned behind me, the animal was getting closer. Trying to quicken my pace, I prayed.  
  
I ran, my lungs were burning and I could barely keep up the pace. My sight was growing dark, I felt light headed and I saw stars, faint stars flashing before my eyes. I looked up to see my savoir come swooping down, the darkness rose.. and as I felt his warmth touch me it was silent.  
  
~  
  
It had seemed like a long time when I opened my eyes. Wondering what or where I was and why I was still running. "I'm Late... I'm Late..." the words escaped my mouth before I even knew why. What was I doing? I slowed down near the river I was approaching. Where was I? I looked around and found the high vegetation all around. Lush trees and beautiful flowers, it was picturesque. Slowly I approached the river, where's Mamo-Zan? I cried....   
  
"Mr. Rabbit!" someone called, I looked up towards the hills. A girl, I squinted... no its Mina wearing a blue and white dress. Now that looks familiar. "Mr. Rabbit!!!" she called again. "Oh please... I just want to ask you a question" I crinkled my nose, since when did Mina have an English Accent? And why is she looking at me that way. "Please... Mr. Rabbit"  
  
"Huh" I said to myself as she waved to me. 'Mr. Rabbit???' I looked into the mirrored water near me and my eyes in which I though were large enough, grew even wider. Reflecting back from the waters, was me! But not me! I had rabbit ears, and white fur. A red coat with a watch! A WATCH? I held the watch.. and stared at it.  
  
"Mr. Rabbit!!!!!!!" Mina's voice came closer.. Still their thinking where I was.. "Mr. Rabbit! Please wait up" I stared at the watch, then the reflection in the water. Then it dawned on me.  
  
"NO FREAKING WAY!" I yelled "MINA is ALICE and IM the WHITE RABBIT!" I grumbled.... Out from my free will, my legs began to run.. hop Skippy hop on top of the rocks that cut across the river. My mouth opened to call Mina, but what came out was "IM LATE IM LATE.. FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE" This is some messed up dream! I last said as I dropped down to the dark hole.  
  
End for now 


End file.
